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About Literature / Hobbyist Indigo SkyesFemale/United States Group :icontransmetlit: TransmetLit
 
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I write for the same reason I breathe.

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These are amazing. End of story.

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Critiquing? Moi? Wonders never cease. Aaand off we go. (I really do hate these star rating things. They're really not quantifiable at a...

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She came with me, you see.
Swallowed whole, licked her lips.
Juice stained her mouth.
She bared her sharp little teeth and asked for more.
My bird-boned bride with a lion’s heart-
I am tender with her.
She soothes and comforts, encompasses and intoxicates,
The dearest demon I’ve ever seen.
I have never loved the light;
It has been harsh and hot and there was nothing I wanted there.
But she is full of earth, of growing things.
She carries golden summer in her laugh.
When above is barren, she is warm.
She is so alive.

Souls drift through my land, solitary and silent.
(What sad creatures these men become.)
When they wail in the night, I press my knees to the ground,
Listening for her voice at my gates.
Wait, she calls. Soon.

She sweeps in with the first of the rains,
As the trees sway, dancing their autumnal rhythm,
As the leaves whither and fall,
As the petals collapse into memories.
Her ivy fingers twine in my hair and I twine around her.
The storm breaks.
I touch her and I am home.
Goodness gracious, everyone. dA never fails to make me feel so loved and appreciated. Really and truly, I am so honored by my third DD on Exhale! I absolutely can't believe the lovely comments and faves I've gotten from you all. I am the luckiest girl in the world. :heart:

Much love to SilverInkblot for suggesting the piece! :tighthug:

I realize I've been posting a deviation every few months and a journal about twice a year. As most of you know, I'm not all that active on dA anymore, but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate every single comment, fave, llama, watch, etc. just as much as ever. :icongrouphugplz:


Updates on my life in general: 
:bulletblue: One year of college down, three more to go. It was such a busy, strange year and I wouldn't have missed it for anything. 
:bulletblue: My family moved to a new apartment! I got rid of a ton of stuff, which is good. De-cluttering every now and then is healthy.
:bulletblue: I'm working two jobs this summer, plus babysitting. (We getting money!! Not a lot though!!)
:bulletblue: I'm seeing this lovely human being next month and I absolutely can not wait.
:bulletblue: Trying to stay as hydrated as possible! 
:bulletblue: I'm happy. :heart:

As always, feel free to follow me on my tumblr

So how are you guys? I hope you're all happy and doing awesome things this summer. :la:

Always, 
Indigo 

P.S. (I need music suggestions if you have any to offer!) 
  • Mood: dA Love
  • Listening to: Lorde
  • Reading: Chang and Eng by Darin Strauss
  • Watching: Friends
  • Drinking: Water
Mama,
You could make everything but me grow and bloom and blossom.
I always loved  things more when they were wounded, dying, dead.
Do you remember, mama?
I would crouch in the dirt with some pitiful wounded creature,
Waiting and watching as it shuddered and squeaked and died.
I buried them with my own hands, mud caking my hands.
There are shadows you never saw in me, mama, but he does.
He reaches for them and they reach for him and I am happy.
When we kiss, I can taste pomegranate on his lips.
It is bitter and red. I could drink and drink forever.
Nothing about him scares me.
I am the only one who can make him stop howling.
He says he hears them all the time - the souls, mama -
But I bring him peace.
Who wouldn't want such power?
I used to bruise like petals as a child, but not anymore.
I am his and he is mine and, mama,
I am finally, finally mine.
I’ll see you come spring.
Dear Maybe-Mama,

I was not a mistake.

It’s strange to think that exactly half of my DNA comes from you, and yet we could pass each other on the street and not even recognize each other.

I’ve never really believed in searching for you, my biological family. I never asked my parents the heartbreaking questions that Hollywood makes small, blue-eyed orphans ask: “Why didn’t my real mother want me?” I’ve never believed in any of that, and I don’t expect that you’d want me to, anyway.

But if we ever did meet, what would we even say to each other? I don’t speak Chinese, and you probably don’t speak English. But, in case you’ve ever wondered about me, here’s a little about myself:

I look different now. When you last saw me, I weighed less than fifteen pounds and could fit inside of a kitchen sink when I needed a bath. But today I am 19 years old and I’m probably taller than you – the nutrition in America is different than in rural China, so I’ve grown like an American girl, not a Chinese one. But our hands and feet are probably the same size. I also have hyper-extended knees and highly-arched feet. Maybe you do, too. I’ve cut off 10 inches of my hair three times since I was 12 years old. Each time it feels so different and strange, yet each time it’s grown back just as long as before. Hair tends to do that, I suppose.

I started dancing as soon as I could walk and I haven’t stopped since. My favorite type of laughter is the type that catches you by surprise and bubbles up like soda. I’ve learned how to cook from YouTube and I like to think I’m becoming pretty good at it. I learned how to bake from my mother and her box of yellowing recipes from her mother. Babies smile when I smile. I can read very fast – I know this because I read “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” in six hours and 26 minutes and even RJ (my neighbor who was accepted to MIT and Harvard), didn’t read it that quickly. I knit scarves for my friends as Christmas gifts.

We know nothing about each other, but I like to think that you’d be happy about the life I have.

If I had stayed there in China, the country that holds 1.357 billion people, if no one had ever wanted me, I would probably be working on a farm. I would be getting ready to marry some nice boy to take care of his nice, aging parents, and I’d have no more than two nice babies with him. Or maybe I’d move to the city and be working in a factory, helping to mass produce capital for America and the rest of the Western World – I’d be another cog amongst the smog and bicycles.

I was not a mistake.

You did not make a mistake.

You may have regretted the one night you gave into a young man with thick dark hair and long eyes, quick, clever hands, and high forehead. Maybe you were 16 and not ready to raise a child, your family was angry with you, and people would have pointed and stared. Or maybe you did marry him and you had a girl-child, but she was not going to be able to take care of you in your old age because she’d be married to a boy and would take care of his parents instead. Or maybe you already had a girl and needed a boy. Or maybe you had two children, but you were scared of what they’d do if they found out you’d kept another baby.

Whether you ever think of me, or whether you have completely forgotten that you carried me inside you for those nine months 19 years ago (or 20, if you believe that life begins at conception), or whether you think of me every day since you last saw me that autumn day in 1995, or whether you died years ago and I never knew, you did not make a mistake.

Maybe-Mama, I just wanted to let you know that I’m happy. I’m so lucky to have the life I have. I’m in college now, studying and making friends and having fun. Hopefully I’ll have a job in four years. My parents love me like good parents do – fiercely, proudly, happily. I have a brother and he is 15 and growing like a birch tree, becoming someone I will always be proud of. I am surrounded by people with kind hearts and warm hugs and big laughs whom I love and who love me. There is someone who wants to marry me someday and spend the rest of their life with me. I could never ask for better than what I’ve been fortunate enough to receive.

If you ever meet me, I hope that you like the person that I am and the person I’m becoming. I hope I’d like you, too.

Someone told me once that I must have lucky stars out there looking out for me. And you know what?

I do. I really do.

Sincerely,

Your Maybe-Daughter
American Girl
UPDATE 4/14/15:

I wrote this about a year ago and didn’t really know what to do with it. My first semester in college, I began writing for my school’s newspaper. The Temple News publishes personal essays in the opinion section and I submitted mine. It was featured here (temple-news.com/essay/a-letter…) and it made my mom (and two aunts of my aunts and a cousin and two of my friends and probably my dad) cry, so I’d call it a success. 

It is near and dear to my heart and I’m proud of it.

UPDATE 7/1/2014:
Holy crap you guys, a second DD! :faint: This community never fails to blow me away.
Huge giant hug to Steph (IrrevocableFate) for suggesting this piece. I love you! :glomp:
Even though this piece is a work in progress, I just want to thank you all so much for all your kind words, critiques, and encouragement. You guys are truly are amazing. :heart:

Alternate title: An Open Letter to My Birth Mother

Questions for critique: 
:bulletblue: This needs more fleshing out, but I'm not sure how to do it yet. 
:bulletblue: The closing seems a little clunky. How should I re-word it so it has a bit more grace?
:bulletblue: Does the organization make sense? 
:bulletblue: Honestly, any other constructive criticism is very welcome. 
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Goodness gracious, everyone. dA never fails to make me feel so loved and appreciated. Really and truly, I am so honored by my third DD on Exhale! I absolutely can't believe the lovely comments and faves I've gotten from you all. I am the luckiest girl in the world. :heart:

Much love to SilverInkblot for suggesting the piece! :tighthug:

I realize I've been posting a deviation every few months and a journal about twice a year. As most of you know, I'm not all that active on dA anymore, but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate every single comment, fave, llama, watch, etc. just as much as ever. :icongrouphugplz:


Updates on my life in general: 
:bulletblue: One year of college down, three more to go. It was such a busy, strange year and I wouldn't have missed it for anything. 
:bulletblue: My family moved to a new apartment! I got rid of a ton of stuff, which is good. De-cluttering every now and then is healthy.
:bulletblue: I'm working two jobs this summer, plus babysitting. (We getting money!! Not a lot though!!)
:bulletblue: I'm seeing this lovely human being next month and I absolutely can not wait.
:bulletblue: Trying to stay as hydrated as possible! 
:bulletblue: I'm happy. :heart:

As always, feel free to follow me on my tumblr

So how are you guys? I hope you're all happy and doing awesome things this summer. :la:

Always, 
Indigo 

P.S. (I need music suggestions if you have any to offer!) 
  • Mood: dA Love
  • Listening to: Lorde
  • Reading: Chang and Eng by Darin Strauss
  • Watching: Friends
  • Drinking: Water

deviantID

IndigoSkyes
Indigo Skyes
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I read like an absolute maniac. Music is my oxygen. I'm a hope(less) romantic. I love meeting new people and trying new things because there's just so much in life. I will always and forever be figuring things out and there are some things I'll never figure out, but that's okay. I will dance to any kind of music, with anyone, and anywhere. Even if I don't know the lyrics, I'll try to sing along with them at the top of my lungs. My friends are the most wonderful people in the universe. My family puts up with me like no one else, and I love them for it. I believe in magic, love, the impossible being possible, and that everyone has a skeleton or twelve in their closet.
I don't think that I'd like to be anyone else but me.

I measure life in love.

Current Residence: Somewhere over the rainbow
Personal Quote: "I exist as I am, and that is enough." - Walt Witman
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015   General Artist
Tag a quality deviant: You’re it! Quality doesn’t mean that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how much followers you have. Send this to 10 deviants who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them! Heart
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:iconindigoskyes:
IndigoSkyes Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, lovely! :hug:
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:iconmustafasezer:
MustafaSEZER Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
:iconbluesparklesplz::iconyellowsparklesplz::icontiphankeplz::iconorangesparklesplz::iconredsparklesplz::iconyellowsparklesplz:
:iconeufrosis::iconbirthd::iconbir2::iconbir3::iconbir4::iconeufrosis:
:iconeufrosis::iconbir5::iconbir6::iconbir7::iconbir8::iconeufrosis:
:iconeufrosis::iconbir9::iconbir1::iconbir10::iconbir11::iconeufrosis:
:iconeufrosis::iconbir12::iconbir13::iconbir14::iconbir15::iconeufrosis:
:icongreensparklesplz::icondgreensparklesplz::icontiphankeplz::icontiphankeplz::icongreensparklesplz::icondgreensparklesplz:
:iconbouquetplz: :iconwineplz: :iconcakeplz::iconwineplz::iconbouquetplz:
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:iconindigoskyes:
IndigoSkyes Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
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:iconmustafasezer:
MustafaSEZER Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Always best wishes :)
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:iconbambi-claire:
Bambi-Claire Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fave! :)
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:icontarzok:
Tarzok Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014
:party: Happy Unbirth day :party:
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:iconindigoskyes:
IndigoSkyes Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Why thank you. (:
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:iconiamadem:
iamadem Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
You're very kind for all of those! I'm sorry for being so late, I haven't spent a lot of time here in the past few weeks, or months, or something. :heart:

We must catch up soon! I hope you're well. :)
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:iconindigoskyes:
IndigoSkyes Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're quite welcome!

I'm not on here much anymore either, but I check in every few weeks for various housekeeping things.

I hope you're doing well, too!
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